Monday, February 2, 2015

What to do when it stops working

I kind of left you hanging there, didn't I. 6 months later...  Rest assured that it's because we have been having some great family time. Maybe someday I'll go back and document our epic cross-country road trip, (during which I was the worst traveler of our band of four) complete with food tour of Western New York (Valley Inn, Wegman's, and authentic Buffalo wings), 3-stop church history tour, watching/listening to Frozen probably 5 times, and meeting with our dear friends traveling the other direction for dinner and side-by-side rooms at our hotel ). It's a possibility that some other day I'll talk about the family reunions, wedding, Shakespearean festival, Timpanogos Storytelling festival, and more that happened this summer. I could share our Halloween costumes (Rafe: Elephant, Lydia: Purple Ballerina Hippo) and our three (3!) Thanksgivings. I should actually get around to posting about Lydia's birthday, because Rapunzel came and it was magical (easiest birthday party ever). Christmas was crazy but great. New Year's at the Cabin was great. Maybe I'll even post pictures of these events! But I don't have those pictures with me right now, so instead I'll give you a little update on how things are going and then move on to happier things. 

I'm in the hospital! Yay, right...? While the treatment that I've been getting for the last 6 months has done a surprisingly good job (the little methatrexate that could) and has kept the cancer in my spine and brain at bay to some extent, recently my symptoms have gotten noticeably worse. My legs are essentially tubes of meat (that twitch occasionally to remind me that they are there, but are otherwise mostly numb but still inexplicably in pain). My balance is off. I fall. And almost fall. And then my knees buckle I fall again, until the terror of falling means I just stay sitting. Reliance on my rollerator (rolling walker) outside the house is a must (thank you Kayleen!) and a cane indoors helps me cross the treacherous space between the fridge and counter in the kitchen - not to mention that gaping chasm that is the living room. For a few days, I went down the stairs on the seat of my pants to avoid pitching headfirst to my doom, until my physical therapist suggested something I should have come up with on my own - just walk down backwards.

So the previous treatment isn't working anymore. This week I'll be in the hospital getting a slightly different but more brutal treatment to see if we can catch the cancer with its pants down.

Wish me luck!

10 comments:

ross coughanour said...

Good luck, Bonnie. We are pulling for you!

-- Liz

brittney perry said...

Good luck! Thanks for the update :)

Coryn said...

Prayers for you Bonnie! You're an incredible fighter!

Daniel said...

Thank you for the update. Yes, we wish you luck (this is Giulia signed up as Daniel). And prayers are sent up..we .love you!

Jamie Christensen said...

Wishing you the best and so many prayers. Lots of love!!!

@lliE from FreshlyCompleted said...

All the best, Bonnie! Glad for an update.

Ann Maas said...

We wish you the best and think of you often!

Susan Anderson said...

Glad to hear about all the fun family times you have had over the last while! Keep fighting! Warm thoughts and prayers are being sent your way :)

Da Woman said...

Keep fighting!!!! I'm praying for you. Thanks for the update and advice. Craig and I really should date.

Bonnie said...

Thank you, everyone!

For some reason, I'm not getting notified when people comment, so I'm going to check my settings. If your comment slips through the cracks, I apologize profusely.