Is this what normal feels like?

At some point during chemo I forgot what it feels like to feel good. Forget good, I couldn't remember what normal felt like. I would wake up and bury my head under the pillows because getting up just seemed way, way too hard. And then I started to assume that the way I felt every day was just normal, and that I would feel terrible, horrible, no good, very bad every morning for the rest of my life. The days stretched out in my mind like this eternal, beige-colored, no-end-in-sight, not actually going anywhere road that I had to walk. That's when the depression set in. I felt trapped in a sad, sick, tired body that couldn't do the things it needed to in order to help two amazing children feel loved.

Thankfully, chemo ended. And I woke up this morning thinking "Hey, getting out of bed isn't that bad." And then I got up and was a kind, loving, and fun mother to my kids all day long.

When the kids were asleep, I looked at Adam and said, "I BAMMED today."

Yes, this picture was taken today.

P.S. Remind me to tell you about the time I BAMMED the library.