The cancer seems (in my head) so life-changing. I thought I would just be so loving all the time to my kids, more patient, more energetic, more enthused about life, but much of the time I still just want to sit, or nap, or not be touched by toddler hands.
There are moments where I remember how special this is, and how important each moment is. But those moments of remembrance are not as frequent as they should perhaps be.
It makes me feel like a person who has received a witness of the gospel, but has drifted away - forgotten their experience with the Spirit. Am I Oliver Cowdery - continually needing reminders of the preciousness of life. Am I "casting away [my] confidence?"
2 comments:
Being a mom is hard, even when one has all of their energy--which you don't yet. And rearing children is hard, even if you love them more than you imagined you could love a little person. Having cancer did not change that. It is OK to wish for a nap or a break.
The Lord knows your heart and it is good, even if your physical strength and energy are still somewhat at low tide. Be patient with yourself.
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